The thought of being tied up, helpless, should be against everything I believed in, but still, it was what made me come, quick, hard and long, as it always did. I lay there in my bed and stared at the ceiling. A control freak obsessed with thoughts of being tied up, I really was fucked up, wasn’t I? And how could the longing I had for soft caresses and caring, loving touches ever be combined with my need for rougher sex and domination games? And above all, would I ever get over my fear of showing myself naked in front of anyone I was interested in, sexually? I laughed at my short list of requirements for a potential bedpartner, he should be blind and have a sensory deficiency preventing him from seeing and feeling the scars on my body. He should like both sweet loving and rougher sex. And yeah, he had to like screamers. I could see the profile I’d have to create on one of those sexual dating sites, and I could easily imagine the answers I would get, like ‘do you need lube when I. This had been my home for as long as Icould remember and it was going to be a wrench to leave. I would missSarah, but to be honest, we were no longer that close. I tried to bepositive and think of the possibility of finding new friends and seenew things. I dreaded the thought of a new school though. I was worriedthat the kids would not like me. After all I was a girl in a boy's bodyand I might get found out. Children can be cruel and was small for myage and had what my mum called 'delicate features'. I had once read abook about a fictional school and it seemed full of bullies who putyoung kids' heads down toilets and beat them up for their dinner money.I didn't want any of that!The next two weeks were busy for me as I helped mum do the packingwhile dad sorted out the new house. My secret clothes stash which hadgrown a bit over the years I put in a big box and covered with comicsand then lots of toys. I was sure that I would be able to hide theclothes somewhere in my new room.All too.
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